?

Some days are long. They begin and just go on. Night falls but takes away a part of you with morning. It feels hollow. I miss some people. People is it? I miss something. I miss my freedom. That freedom, which was two rooms away, or somewhere right there... in that corner on the left. I have all means of communication possible in the modern world. And yet I cannot connect. A phone rings in a distant place and that's all I hear.

What is making me unhappy? Something that does not lend itself to physicality. I can feel it but it does not show itself to me. I have people who love me and yet, it seems so far away.What do I want? Something. Something, I am sure. But what? what is it that's eluding me? I am tired, very tired. I have beem running after it not knowing what is it, where is it. But I know it's there. How much more desperate do I have to be to know it.

I remember what Ruks told me long long time ago: "You don't want it bad enough."
I do Ruks, this time I do.