Yah right? Now I need a title for my misery!

I learnt today that somethings can't be learnt.
How does one fight desire? Knowing what you want is not worth chasing? What is love?

I also learnt that I can't play mind games.
So i will not try. I am just going to be.

I wished for inspiration to write on my blog. Looks like I got material for a book!

On the 'brighter' side, I feel like Woody Allen.
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

espalda!

Don't ask me why?
I just thought it sounds better than 'back!'
***
So, here I am in all hopes to be regular here. Actually now that I think I do have a reason why I stopped. My comp in the office just wouldn't let me post!
Due to some odd attack of boredom I tried blogger again, and voila!

Let's hope things and people keep inspiring me to write :)
Actually someone did. Will tell you the story when I am less sleepy.

Adiós!
(Please bear with this sudden attack of Spanish !)

fdggf

djksfhjksdfh

Careful!

I can feel each muscle in my body!
My legs are shaking as I walk.
Dance... is not going to be easy!

But the good part is: I am not going to give up this one time!

Why does it happen to me ?

I had a super day

Durga is back is my life and I'm EXTREMELY kicked about it!
I must confess I really missed her!
Regular calls, mails and IM, and good life - that's Dugi...

Ruks called today (to ask about my 'reproductive system') - we both are doing fine it seems :)
Been a good day.

I got a brand new haircut by Karma. She so super that it's almost like magic! But the haircut rates are now 600 bucks - that hurt! I also got manicure done with a bright pink nailpaint. My manicure sssions always make me feel unwomanly. I guess I have that gene missing that's coded with the info that one has to wait after a nailpaint session. I am all over the place, and needless to say I spoilt the paint for my right hand.

Another funny bit: my sweetheart generously offered me free cosmetic shopping.
Just when I was going through a virtual Chambor catalogue, he says, "Don't worry, it's on me - 500 bucks!!!"
For a secong I didn't know if I were to feel bad for me or him.
I am sure the poor guy does not know the world of cosmetics yet.
Few things marriage teaches men I believe... sigh...

Until then, let me rack my brains as to what exactly I can buy in 500 bucks: why waste money, you see... :)

Faith

What you're going to read now is a mail that a friend's friend wrote to him.
Seems there is still hope for this world.

Ive been in rough shape for a REALLY long time, and still havent lost faith.I have no home of my own in georgia, or my own vehicle, ever since myex the one i was to marry screwed me over my life has been up and
down.... but it WILL get better...keep your head up buddy and lose it all, but NEVER your faith!

Jerks...

My blog will soon start sounding self-obsessive.
But this is what happens when one is lonely perhaps.

I've been pretty unhappy about some things lately, some people... should I say?
I've been thinking as to why.
What happens actually is when you (read I) are lonely, you tend to compromise. There are somethimes these pangs - of going out, of watching a movie, or just talking to somebody. Your friends are not around and you have to make do with what you have, which is usually sucky. By sucky I do not mean really sucky, I mean as compared to people you are used to being friends with, these guys, just kind of... well.. suck.
But since you are so lonely (read desperate), you don't mind hanging around them. Even sometimes sucking up so much in the process that you discover a side of you that perhaps Madam Curie could have taken as radium - it's so alien and unlike anything you've known yourself to be.
And what happens one fine day that one of these people just stands up and says something in such a ridiculously nasty manner, that you don't feel pissed, you feel stupid!
And may be sad coz you know that on a perfectly normal sunny day, these guys won't have had a chance in your life, but here you are listening to their smart alec-y- comments and wondering if it was loneliness or myopia that made you overlook certain things in a person.

Well, the point is, it happened to me today and I feel like a jerk.

Sometimes life is not fair.
And at such times I feel very lonely...

Only thing to lose is weight?

So there I go again with weighty issues.
But not to miss the wonderful reason this time.

35 people from Danceworx will go to Delhi in December.
People as in 'good dancers'.

So I think to be able to be a good dancer I must tone up.
And NO, fat people do NOT make good dancers!

They want to look smashing but love handles are the only smashing things on their bodies, with jiggling tummy next in line. Arrrghh....

So there... and in the end even if I do not make it to Delhi I would have only my weight to lose, and I will definitely be a beter dancer!

OK - I know i'll feel terrible if I don't make it :(

Happiness

...is also DANCE.
Dance as in Street Jazz...
And street jazz with none other than Ashley Lobo who founded Danceworx and one of the leading dancers in India. Hmm not bad, eh?

I have ALWAYS wanted to learn with Ashley and these classes are one of the best things to have happened to me!

Let's just say I'm happy. Can't say the same about my muscles though :)

Happiness...

sometimes is a fluffy kitten and some sunshine...

I am sorry, Mr Sanghvi...

I did something yesterday that will upset Mr. (Vir) Sanghvi gravely.
I went for dinner with my mom to this place (with lovely food) called Harmony.

What I ended up eating will not go down very well with any self-respecting food writer.
My regular pasta salad was of course the first on the list.
Simce mama wanted to have Indian, we decided to order stuffed kulchas with daal makhanwala.
And since I was eating out after a long(...er-ish) time, I just had to order risotto.

Every thing was fine until we realised that mom wanted to have rice and we were too full to order any more steamed rice. What she simply did was to serve herself some risotto and GENEROUSLY POURED THE DAAL ON IT.

Well, after making close to 153 faces, I decided what the heck!... nobody is watching me (not Mr. Sanghvi particularly!) , and tried some from her plate and viola!! Not bad!

And the rest is history.

Well, on that note, Mr. Sanghvi should dine with my father some day.

?

Some days are long. They begin and just go on. Night falls but takes away a part of you with morning. It feels hollow. I miss some people. People is it? I miss something. I miss my freedom. That freedom, which was two rooms away, or somewhere right there... in that corner on the left. I have all means of communication possible in the modern world. And yet I cannot connect. A phone rings in a distant place and that's all I hear.

What is making me unhappy? Something that does not lend itself to physicality. I can feel it but it does not show itself to me. I have people who love me and yet, it seems so far away.What do I want? Something. Something, I am sure. But what? what is it that's eluding me? I am tired, very tired. I have beem running after it not knowing what is it, where is it. But I know it's there. How much more desperate do I have to be to know it.

I remember what Ruks told me long long time ago: "You don't want it bad enough."
I do Ruks, this time I do.

Shopping Time!

Well...I think red nail paint is one of the best things money can buy.
One of the shortest cuts to feel like a diva on a rainy day.
Needless to say all this gyan is the result of my weekend nailpaint shopping.

I tried most brands across the counter and I think streetwear has the best stuff.
They have the neatest shades, and since I am not to glitterey a person, I freaked on their matt range.

And also, they're affordable! So until I find a stupid lovestruck RICH NRI (or a musician :P) for myself, I dont think I'd like to blow up my hard-earned money on those Page 3 prices.

I picked three shades:

Fiery Femme (No 18 Streetwear) MRP: Rs 50

Happy Hour Ritu Beri (No D222 Lakme) MRP: Rs. 65

Happy Hour Ritu Beri (No D518Lakme) MRP: Rs. 65

And then... I bought myself something I've been trying to lay my hands on for ages... A CHERRY RED LIPSTICK!!

Well, it's rather difficult to explain the root cause of the divine excitement it can cause to mere mortals, but it's Cool!

Hmm... nice work, girl :)

And beore I forget, since we are on the topic of shopping... my new shoes laydies!

They are these phurrrfect tiny heels that I can wear to work!
They go pretty well with anything - skirt, jeans, Indianwear...

Ah, not bad!